baetiful | IC CONTACT POST

Are you including me in that number? Why, Dorian, I am flattered.

Of course you're attractive! I've got eyes, you know.

Oh, I personally agree.

PR doesn't, though. I would not suggest following my example. Liberal use of the word "fuck" tends to piss people off.

But there is no word quite like it to punctuate a thought, idea, statement or exclamation.

Well I am significantly older looking than you. I imagined your tastes to be aimed toward a younger generation.

On the contrary, not that much! Toby's older than me, after all, and the last person I was seriously involved with was in his fourties.

I have no doubt that the Major General makes for a great leader, particularly when it comes to missions and military matters. But sometimes experience alone is not enough, especially with this group of stubborn imPorts. You must show a willingness to compromise, and I do hope she will understand that when it comes to this investigation.

[ A pause. ]

That is a shame about the youth in this world. Not only are you a brilliant mind but you are well-spoken, well-mannered, and generally well-liked. Your willingness to do the right thing and be a hero are unmatched by a great many of our peers -- at least this is what I've been told when it comes to stories of your bravery.

I would hope if there ever came a time when the Major General either ported out or for some reason had to step down, you would rise against the obstacles to lead RISE in her place.

Is it only men of that age you find attractive? Or does that extend to women as well?

I'm flattered, Lord Baelish- but hopefully the day the Major General no longer leads RISE is long in coming.

But I will bring your suggestions to her.

Men AND women. Though, given the choice, I prefer men to women.

You are literally a man after my own heart, you know that?

[Petyr might be at work or home when the invitation comes. But rather than any regular ol' mail handler, this one is a little different. The doorbell rings, or a slow, insistent knock lets out. Whenever Petyr does answer, he will find dear Sally standing before him, a knowing smile on blood red lips. She holds out a golden envelope with Petyr's name (full, complete with titles) handwritten in careful, precise lettering, handing it over with that smile still in place.

And with that she turns, leaving Petyr with his invite. By the time he looks at what's in hand and back up to say something to Sally, though, she's vanished, leaving only the scent of cigarettes in her wake.]

I appreciate it, Lady Sabriel. May this put the concerns of the imPort population's minds at ease. We shall speak again soon.

[ A video call to his inbox: Haen standing with her hands on her hips and wearing a cute nautical number, obviously midway through getting ready to attend the beach-bound July Swear-In. Her expression however seems rather stony, and her tone is tart. ]

Is it true?

What is it about men that lends to your preference? Apart from the obvious. Unless their cocks really are the primary selling point.

[ Baelish doesn't shy away from the crude when it comes to talking about sex. ]

I don't really know—just a personal preference. Aesthetics matter the most to me and I tend to find young men more attractive than young women!

We mustn't allow that to escape this conversation. The rumors will know no end. Though that does make me curious. What is the most outlandish thing people have said about you in your time here?

I've made it a POINT to avoid those kinds of rumors, so let's definitely avoid that.

But... uh. Let's just say there's been a rumor floating around forever that I fuck toasters. I don't, by the way. Fuck them.

[ Baelish is a little bit confused by the message she's trying to send here and the swimsuit is admittedly very distracting. ]

Is...what true?

[ scandalized ] I thought better of you!

....have you been speaking with Rincewind? I have no addiction to drugs if that is what he's told you.

I haven't been speaking to anyone, but I just found out that you're not planning to attend the Swear-In at the beach! I know you're quite the formal sort, but you can't be coming off as a dull little somatic cell to the people who you're going to lead, they need something to perk them up now and then. And after the awful string of recent Swear-Ins, this one had better go perfectly or I swear I'm going to genebreak the next troublemaker so thoroughly, they'll be more closely related to a mango tree!

[ Oh. Ohh. Well that's a better accusation than fending off stupid rumors. Amusement softens the confusion. ]

I am certain everything will go well. The Gala was enough of a spectacle that it would be overkill to ruin the Swear In. I'll confess, I am more of a Northerner at heart and do not enjoy the heat of summer. Nor is my body suited for such a state of public undress. But that is not the reason I will not be in attendance.

[ A pause, and then appreciative: ]

Loathe as I would be to miss you turning someone into a fruit bearing tree. And you do look exquisite. Naturally, you must know that.

I've seen all of your body and I think it's just as suited for anyone's, but as I said before, if you're self-conscious about that scar, I can hide it for a little bit for you.

[ She runs a hand over her hair at the compliment, smiling. ]

Why thank you! I confess it's going to be very hard to go home to Riesling where we don't have any place to wear this sort of thing.

[ He gives her a little smile after her offer, but neither accepts nor denies. ]

All the more reason for you to enjoy this world while you're here, my lady. And enjoy the sun on your skin. The people. The attention you will receive. I've little doubt you will be the most stunning woman on that beach.

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